Finding Bigfoot: Hidden Giant of the Woods or BS?

Tonight I got stuck watching a few episodes of Finding Bigfoot.

I want to believe. I do. I love the idea that the woods are a mysterious place we haven’t fully explored. It would be cool if

Clyde in the Snow
Oh my god! Is that Bigfoot?!?

sasquatches wandered around in the woods, wouldn’t it? As a kid, I always thought they did. I’d see them out there in the woods, especially on the legendary “Indian Land” adjacent to our cabin at Flathead Lake.

Indian Land is property owned by the Confederated Salish and Kootenai Native American tribes.We weren’t officially allowed (by our parents) to slip through the barbed wire fence and go exploring on Indian Land, and in general, we didn’t. We knew bears roamed the woods, as did cows–we’d hear them mooing almost every morning. Sometimes we’d see them wandering through the trees. A badger took up residence along the edge of Indian Land one spring, adding a measure of danger to the whole thing. Looking back, I’d say that the forbidden nature of that stretch of the woods just added to the mystery of what sort of creatures lurked there.

I knew Bigfoot lived there with fairies and werewolves and witches and elves and other secretive things. Maybe even dragons.

But nowadays?

Well, I’ve walked those woods and many other forests. I’ve spent time wandering the hills and absorbing nature. I’ve seen some pretty cool stuff, but I haven’t seen any of these things. Does this mean I’m sure they don’t exist? No, it doesn’t. But it makes it a lot tougher to believe any of that stuff is actually hiding out there, doesn’t it?

I suppose I feel like an adult who left Neverland and forgot about the magic.

So back to Bigfoot and the really terrible tv show Finding Bigfoot on Animal Planet.

I’d like to think that Bigfoot lurks somewhere out there, but the odds are stacked against it, especially in this technologically advanced age. The people on this show . . . let’s just say they annoy me. They go around looking for Sasquatch, or Sqwatch as they say, implying some sort of easy familiarity between them. They present themselves as foremost experts on Bigfoot, and pretend to have vast experience with them. They have all the modern techno devices a Bigfoot hunting team should ever need: infrared cameras, 360 degree nightvision cameras, microphones, you name it. They are so geared up that they should be able to find any 7 foot tall creature in the woods.

So where’s their proof?

Branches and the Moon
"Now that's a Squatch-ish moon, if I ever saw one"

I watched them wander around Georgia and Minnesota, looking for signs. They found some tracks they thought were evidence of Bigfoot, but no hair or imagery or anything else. Even at night with nightvision and infraread–they found nothing at all. What they did have were a lot of stupid sayings:

“That’s a very Saasquatch-y sort of thing to do . . .”

“Sasquatches have flat feet. Not an arch, like us. That’s what I look for.”

“Sasquatches tend to find a place they like and keep coming back.”

‎”This is what I call Sqwatchin.”

Now, a reality show is only as good as the people on it. These days the subject of the show doesn’t seem to matter nearly as much as the personalities of the people you’re watching. I love Swamp People. I don’t really care so much about alligators, but I really like following the people.

The idiots on Finding Bigfoot are extremely annoying. They rub me the wrong way and make me want to disbelieve in Bigfoot.

I want to believe. What about you? Do Sasquatches exist? If so, how do they manege to elude us? Why don’t we have more definitive proof?

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